I wanted to share this with my bro, liked it, so you get it too. Not Pulitzer material but kinda fun, I think:
Just saw this on the Military Channel.
You’ll appreciate this classic military clusterfuck. Panama invasion. Mission: Don’t let Norieaga escape. So they sent a team of Seals in to disable his plane (must have been before cruise missles) and they did it, lost a few seals though.
Next, take out his escape gunboat. More Seals, magnetic mines. Oops, aluminum boat. Gee, and we probably gave it to him. Military intelligence? Uh huh.
So they tied explosives to the prop, just as the motors start up. Oops again. Run away! Meanwhile, as they stealthily are sneaking around stealthily, the soldiers are dropping grenades on them. Hmm, not so secret after all.
At the same time, the motor on their waiting escape Zodiac pukes out and has to be replaced. Guess they should have used a Honda.
As our guys are slowly escaping, with their 25 foot max depth rebreathers, they almost get run over by a freighter (who would’ve thought, in the Panama Canal?), have to dive to 50 feet. Did we say ‘oops’ before?
Oh, that was after they ran into an unexpected underwater fence that blocked their way. Hey! Where did that fence come from? I’m going to run out of ‘o’s for ‘oops’ if this keeps up.
They surfaced under a dock in the middle of a gunfight. Did I mention that the dock was an ammo dump? Shit in a basket. 40 pounds of C-4 tied to a heavily armed gunbout over there, ammo dump up above. Shit. Guess that’s what hazerdous duty pay is for, right?
To make a short story long, they got away. Democracy was restored to Panama, American business interests were protected, the world is still gratefull, and Central & South America love us tp pieces. Only cost a couple dozen American moms their sons and Clint Eastwood got to make a crummy movie.
But I love that, magnetic mines, aluminum boat. Geez.
Please, I’m not minimizing the valiant efforts made by our troops, it’s just a reminder that things don’t always work like they do in a Hollywood movie. Rarely, in fact.
June 12, 2009 at 9:38 am
It seems there were a lot of miltary misadventures during the Carter and Reagan administrations. The military brass, at that time still had a lot of disdain for “special” forces and really didn’t know how to use them to the best advantage. They started getting more respect under the first Bush and Clinton administrations.
I’m sure they still have ‘oops’ moments but the brass is better at controlling the press these days. I’ve worked a lot of special force troops and they have my utmost respect.
June 12, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Absolutely, Rick. It’s usually the brass, civilians, or planners that seem to miss the boat sometimes, not the guys with their asses on the line. Vietnam wasn’t the soldiers’ fault.
Look at the failed hostage rescue mission. Prez caught a lot of flak about that but really, wasn’t it somebody else’s job to know that helicopters can’t fly when their engines are full of sand? Hell, I could told ‘em that, but nobody asked me. Some planner in Washington came up with that bright plan.
June 23, 2009 at 3:22 pm
What burns me about the failed Iran hostage rescue was that the Air Force had helicopters and pilots capable of pulling it off but the brass had to let the Marines play too. I guess they thought the since Marines flew choppers over beaches, it couldn’t be that much different. Nothing against the Marines but they didn’t have the equipment or expertise for that mission.
The troops have always had my full support and respect. I often disagree with national policy and the leadership at the very top.
October 9, 2009 at 4:35 pm
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