A Rerun From Overflow

I’m tired, don’t feel much like working, but I liked this posting.  God, I loved that bike!     My Teen Wheels    – Steve

Dead Kids

Nice topic, huh?  Just done writing to some folks about the death of an 11 year-old.  So sad.

Very emotional right now, need to talk, Angie’s in bed.

Then there’s my nephew a few years ago, nice kid, smart.  Liked him.  His sister found him in his bed after he ate a handgun.

Everybody in his high school showed up for the funeral; where were they when he needed them?  Where was I?  Where were any of us?

His parents were the greatest people in the world, they were the ones we wanted our kids to go to if we croaked suddenly.  Sure wasn’t their fault.  Shit happens.

I drive a cab.  Gave a ride to a young woman with a broken leg, took her to a really sleazy motel.  She wasn’t talkative.  Got her in and left.  Then she blew her head off.

Oh God, why?  If I had known I’d have brought her home, Angie would have ‘Momed” her, she would know love (Angie has an abundance of that), we would have have taken care of her.  We could have saved her.  But she had nowhere to turn.  So she died.  Had I known, we could have saved her.

I’m sorry.  I’m crying for Justin, for the guy I gave CPR to, for the motel girl, my nephew, and that poor child in the ER when I was in there Saturday getting a brain cancer scan.  Maybe even for myself, but not as much.  OK, yeah, I’m pretty down right now.  Ah, fuck it.  I think I’ve talked this out.  Feel better now. That’s what blogs are for, right?

Weird Animals

These critters cause problems with us, such as getting away for a weekend, and what to do about the animals?  The cats can survive for a couple days with water, food and a litter box.  Skippy the dog?  Yeah, right.  Problem.

Anyway, we love ‘em and are waiting for them to die of old age.  Try as we might, the cats seem to avoid cars pretty well.

So, Skippy the Dog and Mo the Cat are inseparable, real buddies.  Sure they have their tiffs, but who doesn’t with their best friend?

Dogs hate cats, and vice-versa, right?  Not that simple.  Skippy thinks he’s Alpha around here (and the whole neighborhood)  after Angie and I.  Mo also thinks the same, except, being a cat, we’re all inconsequential.  Those two haven’t quite worked out who’s boss yet.

So Skippy chases the cats around when he feels like it and Mo has figured out that when Skippy is in the yard on his rope, all Mo has to do is grab the rope and Skippy is stuck.  One cat fingernail on the rope is enough to stop Skippy in his tracks.   Woose dog!  It’s really weird.  Cracks us up.  We’re easily entertained.

   The pictures pretty much say it all.  This was 15 minutes of dog tongue bath on a cat, and the cat loved it.  Go figure.

   Why is it that a dog and cat can reach this point and we can’t?  We can’t get along with our neighbors, let alone other countries.  But these ‘dumb’ animals, natural enemies, can.  What the Hell is wrong with us?

Volkswagen Adventures

In her younger years, Angie had an old VW Beetle.  Those little things were well built and remained virtually unchanged until technology supposedly passed them by and they faded away, at least in this country.

One time she was caught in an underpass in Chicago during a flood.  She floated.  Yep, just like the old commercials, those bugs were water-tight.  She climbed out a window and the darn thing started right up later when rescued.  Bet the new ones wouldn’t do that!

  The final, fatal time, the engine sort of caught fire.  Being the proper young lady she was, Angie proceeded to take the rollers out of her hair and apply mascara before vacating the burning vehicle.  Sayonara, bug.

  This little mention comes from a commercial we just saw featuring an old VW bus, plus I used to have one years ago.  So we got to talkin’.

  My sister had a bug and we all agree; lousy heat, no defrosters, crummy wipers.  But those little suckers always started and would go anywhere.  Easy to work on, cheap, dependable.  Those Krauts (;-)) sure knew what they were doing!

  Related:  VW History

Santa Claus is Coming To Town

Summer has finally pretty much arrived, thank God.  The grass is green, flowers abound, pollen is in the air and mosquitoes have wakened from a long Winter’s sleep.  Life doesn’t get much better than that!  Deer ticks, West Nile Virus, toxic algae in the lakes, ahh, summer!

  I hate Wisconsin, and love it.  The weather is unpredictable and horrible most of the year, but when it’s good, it’s good!  Life can’t get much better.

  Oh, yes it can.  It can when your GP essentially tells you that you may not live to see another snowfall, another Thanksgiving or Christmas.  When you start making plans and trying to get your head into this new concept.  When you’re trying be strong and stoic, trying to start tying up loose ends and protecting loved ones.  And all the time you’re thinking, oh shit.  Life has finally gotten real good and… bye bye.

  Then you finally get to talk to the specialist and he says, don’t worry, be happy.  It’s not all that bad.  Sure we have to do some more carving, sure the cancer has spread, maybe, but hey, you only need one kidney and maybe it isn’t really cancer in the liver after all.  If it is, there’s a chance we can do something about that too, maybe.  

In any event, Christmas seems to be back in the picture.  Right now, to me, that means life is very good!

Angie and I have been married for about three years now, the best years of our lives.  Our first year was perfect, the last two have been totally messed up between her health problems and mine.  She’s on the upswing, I’m, well, we’ll see.  But other than time out for surgery and recovery, this could be a very good summer.

And I never thought I’d look forward to seeing snow again…

I’ll settle for that, oh yeah.  Big time.  I’ve been venting, I’ve been scared, and I can do whatever the Hell I want here.  Nobody comes here anyway, right? 

So folks, I’m going to drop this health issue for the time being.  Hope you don’t mind.  Bye!  

Obama’s ‘Health Care’ Plan

What a joke, if only it was funny.  More of the same old pandering to the health care giants; insurance and pharmaceuticals.  He wants to keep the insurance companies in the picture so they can bleed off 1/3 of the money spent on healthcare to enrich themselves, and actually seems to believe that the pharmies are going to cut prices because they care about our well-being.   Yeah, right.

“Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius told the House Ways and Means Committee that Obama has no wish to “undermine” private health-insurance companies by supporting a government-backed alternative.”

They’re in Washington right now selling the idea that they care and are going to cut costs.  And he’s buying it.  Lotta campaign money there…

Will someone please explain to me just exactly what insurance companies do other than take our money, keep a third of it, then pass it on to health providers who take their cut and then eventually give what’s left to the folks that actually treat us?

Yeah, I know, they’re spreading the risk.  But since they won’t cover pre-existing  or obvious risk, where’s the spread? 

A doctor goes through a lot of  expensive schooling, but does he/she really need to charge $150 for a 10 minute office visit?  And sometimes you never see a doctor, just an assistant of some sort.

My Mom was on her deathbed in the hospital.  The doc talked to my Dad and I about shutting things down.  Horrible decision to make.  He billed for a ‘consultation’.

Dad had to pay to tell a doctor to kill his wife of over a half century. 

I owe tens of thousands of dollars for medical bills over the last year and a half., can never pay it off. Just found out that I need more surgery.  We have no insurance, couldn’t afford Obama’s plan if it was in place now.  I may not be able to get the surgery.  Then I will die.  Because of money.

OK, that’s the way it goes, always has.  But Mr. Obama, don’t tell me that you are trying to make health care available to all Americans, no sir.  You are kissing ass, politics as usual.

Government workers, elected politicians, military, school teachers.  Poor people (some), children, illegal immigrants.  Old people, disabled.  All now have health care available, what about the rest of us?  Mr. Obama, what about us?  Do we have to work and pay taxes to support all those others until we get sick and then just…die?

Tell me Mr. President, you made over $4,000,000.00 last year, how much do you pay for your health care?  Do you need to buy $300.00/month worth of meds on a $1000.00/month paycheck?

What happened to your campaign promise to  provide the same health care options that congressmen have?  Theirs is free, by the way.

Fuck it.  I guess I’ve either made my point or I’m full of shit. 

No, let me make that point even more personal.  I’m here, I’m Steve.  I write this stuff, I live, I’m alive.  I think and breath, I love Angie and my kids.  I’m a person.  I talk to you.  If I don’t get this surgery I will die.  I will cease to exist so that some stockholder somewhere doesn’t lose 00.0001% interest.  So a person dies.  And Obama wants to continue that system.

  That’s not what I voted for.  At least Bush made no secret of his disdain for the ‘common’ folk.  He was ‘Of the wealthy, by the wealthy, and for the wealthy’.  In the true American tradition.  Nothing’s changed.

  Pardon me now while I go cry in my beer.

Oh yeah, if any of you conservative types found your way here, take note:  NOBODY gets a free ride around here.  I’m a self-avowed rabid liberal with a conservative background.  Bush was a monster and should be tried in world court for war crimes, Obama has not lived up to his image.  Sara is cute but God help us if she’s all they have to offer next.

Do you get it?  People, we’re Americans!  We take care of each other, we band together, regardless of our differences, in the common defense.  Right now it’s us against the economy, which, under corporate control, is destroying us.  No one can hide anymore, except the extremely wealthy who feel they can hide behind walls and let the rest of us go to Hell.  There’re wrong, it’ll get to them sometime, they’ll run out of places to hide.

Obama is not the Savior that we thought.  He lied to get elected, like all politicians but must be brought under control.  Write to someone, a newspaper, congressman, anyone.  Let them know that we’re watching.  We’re being sold out.  NAFTA is still there, Chrysler is moving to Mexico, GM is going bankrupt, people are losing their homes.  One Trillion dollars and what has it done for YOU?  Who got the bucks?

Ohmygod, it’s 9:00 AM, bad night, guess I’d better get to bed, huh?      

A Story

This is not a plea for pity.  This is an intensely personal story about a couple of ordinary, previously middle class folks who, like many others, have found themselves in a strange place.  It’s also about our society and how we look at things.  There is no intent to whine, complain, or blame here.  This is just how it is.

Angie and I both grew up in middle class working families, pretty ordinary.  Both of us have worked since our teens, paying taxes and being good citizens.  We both married, raised children, and were contributing members of society.  Angie mostly raised her boys alone after divorce, my ex and I lasted until the last one was out of the house.  That’s the background, pretty ordinary.

I used to have a concession stand on State Street Mall in Madison, on campus, selling Italian Beef sandwiches and such.  When our daughter, Kristy was born she joined me there, in a backpack.  Ex and I had decided that we wanted a full-time parent for our kids and, since ex was on career track (plus the fact that I had more mothering instinct in my little finger than she had in her entire body) it made sense that I be the one.  Besides, she made the big bucks.

When Kristi was about 2 years old son Jesse came along.  Kristi graduated to a playpen outside the stand, getting spoiled by 20,000 coeds, and Jesse went into the backpack.  When he moved to the playpen, Kristi was being babysat by other vendors in exchange for food.  Worked pretty well.  Then 2nd son Nathan came along.  Nope, sorry, this is getting too complicated, sold the stand.

I became a true Mr. Mom.  Got licensed and did home day care, plus bartending at night.  During this time , in another world, Angie was divorced and raising two kids and working her butt off.

The point is that we both were functioning members of society, doing what we should.  Remember that, there will be a quiz later.

My kids reached school age and I started driving handicap vans.  You know, driving disabled folks around.  Hours were flexible, I could be home when the kids were, do school things and so on.  Remember, ex was the major wage earner, I was child care provider.  Worked well.

Eventually I switched to driving cab, full time.  Kids grown, wife decided she didn’t want to be married.  I was devastated, nearly suicidal.  27 years.

In the settlement I got the house and mortgage.  Fine, ok, I don’t care.  Seemed like a good idea at the time.  Don’t care. 

Flash forward.  I survived and actually came to realize that life could be good.  I felt good.  Met Angie, found the love I’d been seeking all my life.  Gave her the love she always deserved.  Life is very good.

Now, Angie and I both have health issues.  Hers prohibit her from working a regular job, mine have racked up tens of thousands of dollars in debt since we have no health insurance.  Even if we could afford it, everything would be pre-existing and not covered.  Basically, we’re screwed in that regard.

We have no doctor.  When our current prescriptions expire, we will not be able to get the drugs we need to stay alive (and which we cannot afford).  I had cancer surgery and cannot afford to do the required follow-ups to see if they got it all.

So, in a country of plenty, with CEO’s getting $20 million payoffs for destroying their company, Angie and I wait to see how long we’ll live.  Because we can’t afford a doctor.    

Cracks in the system.  If there’s a crack, we fall through it.  No minor kids at home so no eligibility there.  Not old enough for Medicare.  Actually have a (small) income, so out of luck there.  There are programs where they’ll help fix up your house but it’s based on home value, not income.  Our house is assessed above the threshold, though we can’t manage to sell it anywhere near that. 

Our property taxes are twice our minimum interest only mortgage payments, which is all we can afford to pay.  Obama’s rescue plan doesn’t help us because we’re not in the process of repossession.   We’d have to stop paying to qualify.  And, just for fun, the plan my ex set up states that if the bank even thinks that we might have a problem with payments, they can immediately call in the balance due or repossess.  Can’t even talk to the bank about refinancing.

There are more things we could talk about, but (if you’ve stayed long enough to get here) you should get the idea by now.

This isn’t really about us, it’s about how perfectly ordinary, hard-working Americans can find themselves looking for a cardboard box to live in because, playing by all the rules they were raised to follow, can still find themselves them in a big, steamy pile of shit.

We’re not looking for sympathy, we got ourselves exactly where we are now.  But, dammit!  The deck was stacked.  And there are many more people far worse off that we are.  We’ll get by, it’s not the future we envisioned, but we’ll survive.

But it’s just not right.  There are plenty of slackers out there that have never raised a finger on their own behalf, just feeding off the system, and it’s hard to feel a whole lot of compassion for them.  But when folks that have done it right, tried hard, been productive and a beneficial part of their community are tossed onto the trash heap because rich people have stuffed their pockets, it’s just wrong. 

Not looking for a handout, just maybe a helping hand.  All those billions going to the people that caused the problem, not a nickel going to the folks hurt by it, and paying for it. 

Requiem for Dana D.

I was working at my family’s drive-in restaurant in Cary, Illinois in 1967.  This local kid (Ev) showed up on his Vespa scooter with little sister in tow.  Now, back then there wasn’t much to do in Cary, and it wasn’t much of a drive-in.  Small plywood building with an awning and a jukebox.  Mini American Graffiti.

We became friends and remain so now, many years and shared experiences later.  The best of friends, brothers.

And little Dana D.  I watched her grow up, she helped me through troubled times much later.   I loved her as both a little sister and, later, a onetime lover.  Then as a friend.

The memory I will always hold of her is when I took her and a couple of her teenaged friends to a carnival.  I hate carnival rides that go upside down (childhood trauma), but this screaming kid hanging on to me as if I was somehow a link to safety was great! 

I think that was Dana at her peak about then because life took some tough downturns from there on.   We didn’t have much contact over the years, mostly I’d hear from Ev about her doings and undoing’s.  I talked to her occasionally, saw her a few times and it hurt to see what had happened to this bright, beautiful person.  Life sucks sometimes.

Little Dana D. died today after a tough fight with cancer.

Not much else to say.  Bye Dana, I hope things are better for you now.  I love you kid, always have.